Tomorrow, June 19th, 2021, is Juneteenth. In commemoration of this holiday, which celebrates the end of enslavement for Black Americans, I’d like to dedicate today’s blog to the topic of race. Talking to children about race and anti-racism is an incredibly vital part of parenting and of raising socially-conscious, empathic humans. In my experience, parents can feel that it is best to shield their children from the topic until they are older, but the reality is that infants can notice racial differences at six months old, and toddlers as young as two can begin to internalize racial bias. If you are not already having conversations around race as a family, it’s time to start.

As with so many other parts of parenting, there are a couple of universal truths. First, you will not do it perfectly. Often the internal pressure of saying exactly all of the right things paralyzes us in inaction. As with so many other life skills and lessons, demonstrating to children how to recover from a mistake or misstep is as important as the lesson itself. Do your best, and bring your child with you on the journey when you inevitably need to re-learn and repair.

Second, this is so much more about actions than words. When you talk to your children about antiracism, but then your actions are incongruent, the words lose their meaning. If your child sees you learning and taking in new information, examining and confronting your own biases, using your own privilege (if you are white-identifying) to speak out against systemic racism, or seeking support for race-based trauma and stress (if you are non-white identifying) the message is so much more effective.

When we run from the topic of race and treat it as a taboo subject, when we avoid naming whiteness and white privilege, we uphold racism and racist systems. Avoiding discussions of race and racial bias only serves to send the message that racial differences must be bad, and to reinforce internal racial biases. How can you integrate the topic of race into the learning your child is already doing? Can you diversify their bookshelf, or the types of media they are exposed to? Can you expand your physical and social bubble to include friends and neighbors of different races and cultural backgrounds?

I’m including some helpful resources for articles, videos, and books that can help you begin these conversations with your children. Remember that this isn’t just one conversation one time, but rather, a series of conversations, experiences, mistakes, and lessons over a lifetime. Though this blog is being published in honor of Juneteenth, highlighting the importance of antiracism and celebrating racial differences is not a once-per-year thing. The best time to have a conversation about race with your child is today, tomorrow, and all the days after that.

Articles

Embrace Race

Talking To Children About Racial Bias

Beyond The Golden Rule: A Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Responding to Prejudice

The Conscious Kid: How To Talk To Kids About Race

Books

Antiracist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi

If You’re Going to a March by Martha Freeman

Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story by Kevin Noble Maillard

All Are Welcome, by Alexandra Penfold

A Wreath for Emmett Till by Marilyn Nelson

Young, Gifted, and Black by Jamia Wilson